I would just like to start by saying hello because I know it’s been a while since we last spoke. I would love to tell you that it’s because i’ve been too busy pursing my dreams but that would be a lie. The truth is that i’ve spent the last two months stuck in a comfortable monotonous rut. I’ve been living day to day, waking up at 5am to get ready for work, spending my days wishing I was somewhere else and coming home too exhausted to do anything about it.
I don’t mean to sound like i’m complaining about the life i’m currently living because i know it’s pretty sweet, but i’ve got an itch I just can’t scratch. Yesterday, a couple whom i’ve served a couple of times over the last couple of months came back into the Cafe and said to me, “I can’t believe you’re still here.” I laughed and made an excuse about how I decided to stay a while longer to save some extra dollar for the road, but the truth is, i’m still here because I haven’t had the balls to get up and go.
The beautiful thing about travelling is that everything is temporary. I don’t know when I forgot this notion but I know why. It’s because i’ve got it too good here. I don’t pay a lot for rent, I live in a beautiful home, i’ve got my boyfriend and the beach, i’ve made some great friends and I have a good job. I’m very proud of the life i’ve made for myself on the Gold Coast but I can’t afford to sacrifice anymore of my dream because of connivence.
The only thing that makes me nervous is money! Money money money! Well all know that one of the only reasons people stop traveling is because they’ve ran out of it . I know I should just give into serendipity sometimes and go with the flow, but i’m a planner, I plan things, I plan ahead and I hate it.
A couple of my friends have recently made impulsive, irrational decisions lately that have inspired me make some of my own. Of course I haven’t actually put said changes into action just yet, but big things are on the horizon. I’m ready to be terrified and overwhelmed again. I’m ready to put myself out there and make a difference.
Last week one of my best friends packed up here car and drove back to Melbourne to spend her last few months in Australia at home saving, before she departs for Europe later this year. Before she left we would spend hours talking about me moving down with her, of course I didn’t, but my god I wish I did. When you travel you have to trust your instinct, and my instinct told me to go.
However, sitting around moping about decisions I didn’t or couldn’t make because of fear is ridiculous. My adventure was meant to be an inspiring spectacle that i would look back on when i’m old and grey and think, fuck yeah, I lived an exceptional life.
When my adoring customers paid and wished me all the best incase they didn’t see me again, I said, with more sincerity then i’ve ever had, “I hope to god i don’t see you again.”
If these last few months have taught me anything it’s that being comfortable is something I don’t ever what to feel again, well at least for a couple of years anyway. I need to strive for better, I need to be brave, and I need to believe that as long as I hold my dream in my hand I can do anything.
WE ONLY GET ONE LIFE. LIVE IT.
“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” M. Scott Peck.